Jay was born in 1960 on the United States Air Force Base in Molesworth, England. His family moved to the Avant area in Osage County, Oklahoma when he was young. He attended school in the Avant and Barnsdall Schools.

Jay began his law enforcement career with the Bartlesville Police Department as a Reserve Officer while working at several jobs including a technician for EMSA in Tulsa. He moved on from a reserve to a full-time officer in Barnsdall. He then went to work for the Nowata County Sheriff’s Office, where he ascended to the rank of Undersheriff. While working at the Nowata County SO Jay received the Oklahoma House of Representatives Citation in 1995.

Jay left the Nowata County Sheriff’s Office and joined DynCorp, International. He deployed to Afghanistan, then in Iraq, where he trained law enforcement officers. He rose to become the Deputy Regional Commander of the Anbar Provence in Iraq and served as the Police Liaison Mission Advisor to the United States Marine Corps. He earned the Certificate of Appreciation, from the 170th Military Police Company—Al Anbar, Iraq in 2011.

Jay returned from overseas and worked as a Supervisor with Osage Nation Gaming before taking a job at the Tulsa County District Attorney’s Office. Jay rose to become the Chief Investigator of the Tulsa County District Attorney’s Office and was named the “Outstanding Investigator” by the Oklahoma District Attorney’s Council in 2021.

Jay is married to his wife, Ignacia, who is a caregiver at Saint Simeon’s Senior Community in Tulsa. He has one daughter, Keli, who works in the Broken Arrow Public Schools. Jay enjoys fishing with his wife in his free time and is a member of the Free Masons.